

Fred the Impaler Fred the ImpalerFred the Impaler by ~HolyTacoProphet
Characters of the Material Plane
Fred Gunderson – self-proclaimed vampire
Mick Riley – Fred's best friend
Tim Atlas – Fred's other "friend"
Fred's Mother – sometimes known as "mother" but only in scene 6 (flashback)
Manny Leiber – Entrepreneur, philanthropist, asshole
Sal Porter – Androgynous girl, Manny's friend
Sarah Brightmore – An artist whom Fred has tormented over the internet
Librarian – A librarian
Toddler – An annoying little kid who pees his or her pants regularly
Mother – The toddler's mother, not to be confused with Fred's mother
Characters of the Astral Plane
Fred Gunderson – A level 99 Astra


Tacos FINE RESTAURANT/INTERIOR I/6:00 P.M.Tacos by ~HolyTacoProphet
Allen, Christina, Matt, and Karen are sitting at a table.
ALLEN:
The grass is wet today. Therefore it must be raining.
KAREN:
Oh dear, I forgot my umbrella. I must be soaked!
CHRISTINA:
It rains because we are American citizens.
MATT:
It rains because tacos.
Noises of agreement.
ALLEN:
Tacos are crunchy.
MATT:
Tacos are soft.
ALLEN:
Crunchy.
MATT:
No, soft.
ALLEN:
Crunchy!
MATT:
Soft!
CHRISTINA:
Don't start that again! Tacos are both crunchy and soft at the same time, in the same sense.
KAREN:
I once ate a taco.
The other three applaud approvingly.